Written by: Dwayne Myers

Check-ins

Recovery is a lifelong journey, so when times feel unbearable, it’s important to use all of your available resources around you for help. A sober coach is the first point of contact you should lean on after rehab. Sober coaches are there to guide you through the hard times and provide you with advice along the way. Rebuilding relationships with family members should be a top priority as well, especially if the bond was broken in the past. Having a friendly face to rely on and build you up can make all the difference in your sobriety journey. If you’d feel more comfortable having assistance 24/7, try downloading a sobriety app to help stay on track with your progress. The last thing you want is to feel alone.

Start Over

To avoid temptations, distancing yourself from anything or anyone that could have a negative impact on your progress will be in your best interest. Old friends still using, local bars, and even your home can all be temptations. Rebuilding your life somewhere new or close to your family does not have to be dreadful. If money is tight, no need to worry. Consider exploring an FHA loan to assist you in the home buying process. FHA loans are perfect if you’ve experienced a poor financial history, such as debt. It’s government-backed, so it allows you to purchase a home with looser financial requirements. Nonetheless, moving to a new location allows you to start fresh and help avoid any relapses because you’ll be away from things that remind you of your past.

Self-Care

Staying on top of your health is crucial after rehab. Eating healthy, finding a new social group, and starting a new hobby are all ways to guide you through the recovery process. Staying active with a daily routine will also help rid any stress you might be feeling. Just getting outside and going for a walk can be a huge improvement to your mental health. Finding a new friend group that lifts you and supports your sobriety is key to taking care of yourself. If the people around you can’t lift themselves up, how will they be able to help you? Picking up a new hobby to take your mind off things such as reading, journaling, painting, or cooking is also a great way to stay focused. Looking forward to something every day will help you feel grateful and motivated to continue on your sobriety path.

Celebrate

Lastly, don’t forget to celebrate yourself each step of the way. After rehab, everyday life can be challenging. Maintaining your sobriety takes a lot of hard work and dedication. Although big milestones worth celebrating are 30-day, 3-months, 6-months, and 1-year, every day of sobriety is a huge accomplishment. However, one day might be easier than the next, so it’s important to keep your head up during the highs and lows. To help you celebrate your wins, find fun ways to keep yourself motivated such as nice dinners out, dessert, or perhaps starting a new tradition. A tradition could be similar to celebrating a holiday, you could invite friends and family over for a dinner party or book a trip. No matter how you celebrate, always remember you’re not alone and to keep staying motivated — you got this!

I have been sober from alcohol for 6 years and I also have a mental health and addictions nursing background. Alcohol addiction runs in my family in a very serious way. I’d say I know a few things about alcohol addiction and how it affects our physical and mental health. I not only lived it, but I helped other people live through it as well.

One thing I repeatedly see in online discussions about alcohol abuse is that somehow, the person who abuses alcohol brought it on themselves or deserves their afflictions because they continue to drink heavily. There’s also a misconception that heavy drinking and “alcoholism” are somehow not the same. Many people who drink heavily will accuse other heavy drinkers of not being able to control their drinking. It’s a really strange manifestation of the denial often inherent in alcohol misuse. Hence, there is a lot of blame and criticism of those who are labeled an “alcoholic.”

The truth is, alcoholism and heavy drinking are not that different from each other. Often, we make ourselves believe that heavy drinking is normal if we are somehow able to function — meaning we can hold down a job, maintain a home, and look after our basic needs. The truth is, heavy drinking is still alcohol misuse which is the same as alcoholism. The difference is how entrenched the drinking becomes, which may have more serious consequences on our lives.

Some people can drink heavily and still feel confident they are managing their lives despite the many ways that their drinking proves to be problematic. Heavy drinking affects relationships, productivity, family life, physical health, and mental health. Labelling someone an “alcoholic” that can’t control their habit and thus they are a “bad” person, does nothing to further healing for alcohol addictions and misuse.

So let’s be honest shall we? Heavy drinking and alcoholism are within the same sphere and neither label makes the person who engages in alcohol misuse a “bad” person.

We’re not wrong or immoral for abusing a substance that helps us escape the horrors in our lives. The truth is, there are many ways to escape pain and horror, alcohol is just one of them. However, the difference between alcohol and things like doomscrolling, shopping, internet, or whatever we do to escape, is that alcohol can actually kill us. More so, before it kills us, it can ruin our health, mental health, relationships and anything else we care about. Alcohol can disable us and make our lives so much worse.

I advocate not just for abstinence or help for alcohol misuse, but more so, to educate people so they understand their relationship with alcohol better. Because most people have no idea at all how alcohol weaves itself into every fabric of our lives and slowly erodes it. Also, people don’t realize that the way alcohol erodes our lives is through our physical and mental health. And once alcohol has a hold on our brains and emotions, the less capable we are to make good decisions.

We’re not “bad” people for choosing to drink heavily. We just need to understand exactly what we’re getting ourselves into. We also need to know when we’re getting ruined by alcohol. Because as it stands, 107 million people worldwide have an alcohol misuse disorder — this includes everything from slight heavy drinking to very serious alcohol dependence. And while 107 million may seem like a lot, there are many more that likely chose not to report their drinking habits — such is the power of denial in alcohol misuse. Unfortunately, most people are oblivious to the ways that alcohol affects their health and mental health.

The rhetoric around “alcoholics” being bad people who can’t get their drinking under control is actually fueling more heavy drinking that leads to even more deadly consequences. Instead, maybe we can understand that all heavy drinking is designed to mitigate pain and discomfort. Many things are designed to mitigate pain and discomfort. However, not all of them will cause health and mental health issues the way alcohol can.

People in pain will always choose something to self-medicate — be it alcohol or other less dangerous things like playing online games all day. The point is, if we become more familiar with how alcohol causes even more pain, then we are in a better place to make proper decisions. And if we understand that all heavy drinking is problematic, then we can stop trying to demonize some people over others.

The facts are that alcohol causes the following:

• Damages the brain which also hinders decision-making.
• Causes and worsens mental health problems.
• Stops us from processing traumatic events which can lead to our healing.
• Creates a vicious cycle that slowly erodes everything until we are lost to ourselves.
• Can and will cause disability over time.
• Stops us from doing productive things to help our pain and discomfort.
• Doesn’t stop at our personal ruin, instead, it goes on to ruin the lives of those we care about as well.

We’re not “bad” people for drinking heavily, we just need to understand the consequences so we can make informed choices.

I am a former nurse and alcoholic in recovery. My mission is to talk about alcohol and its effect on our health, lives, and relationships. Undoubtedly, most people are aware that alcohol can cause stress and conflict in relationships. However, the general public may not understand the extent. Often, being close to alcoholics can change the relationship dynamic, and it’s essential to know how that works so families can help themselves better.

This article is not about demonizing our alcoholic loved ones, it’s about creating more understanding. I was an alcoholic loved one once, and I understand the dark trap of alcoholism. Our friends and families can’t fix us as much as they wish they could. The best thing to do is to understand the relationship dynamic and help yourself sort through the feelings that come up. This often leads to better decisions to help cope with our alcoholic loved ones.

The following are ways that heavy drinking, or alcoholic drinking, affects relationships. If you relate to these relational dynamics, I encourage you to find a therapist or a support system to help you cope. And know that you are not alone.

Silence/ Denial

Most people have heard about the denial that happens in alcoholism. Still, they rarely do family members reflect on how they are also in denial. Often we don’t want to believe what’s happening, so we block it out. Or, the denial inherent in the alcoholic can make us feel we need to cover things up for ourselves and others too.

The biggest issue that denial brings is silence. Many people feel silenced in their relationship with an alcoholic, bringing a feeling of emptiness and frustration. The relationship can often become inauthentic or tense because important things are not being said. This dynamic often leads to relationship breakdown or serious distance.

Frequent arguments or violence

The effect of alcohol on our nervous system is profound, and it can change our behavior and how we perceive things. At the least, heavy drinking causes a lot of conflicts in relationships leading to arguments. At worst, these arguments can lead to violence.

Most people who drink heavily notice some irritability in the later hours of drinking. However, irritability is most pronounced after the person stops drinking for a while. Frequent heavy drinking causes our nervous system to become very unstable, manifesting as violent behavior in some people. Since alcohol can overwhelm a person’s nervous system, it can be challenging to have a reasonable or calm conversation about complex issues.

Resentment

Unfortunately, silence and frequent arguments can cause resentment to build between the alcoholic and the person they’re in a relationship with. This often fuels more resentment and discord. In some relationships, alcohol may be clearly identified as the problem, but sometimes denial makes it difficult to see that.

It’s important to realize that things can become more challenging once resentment sets in. In this case, therapy, healthy distance, and managing your stress levels may help. Unfortunately, the only thing loved ones can do is support the alcoholic from the side, but they rarely can help them change.

Worsening mental health issues in loved ones

Alcohol is known to cause mental health issues in alcoholics. Still, most people don’t realize that the relational effects of alcoholism can affect the mental health of loved ones as well. Alcoholism can leave family and friends very drained, sad, and overwhelmed, fueling mental health problems. Since mental health issues cause a lot of emotional pain, it can further erode the relationship between the alcoholic and the loved one.

Eventually, it becomes a vicious cycle of alcoholism and mental health problems within the relationship. Once things hit this point, it’s imperative to seek help for oneself. Remember, focus on yourself as you are the only one you can help.

These are issues often seen in relationships between loved ones and their alcoholic family member or friend. Unfortunately, heavy drinking has a strong and negative effect on relationships. We ought to be talking about this more to reduce the silence and increase communication.

Again, this is not about blaming our alcoholic loved ones. Instead, it’s about taking responsibility for our own choices, feelings, reactions, and ability to ask for help. The more that family and friends of alcoholics reach out for support, the better off they will be.

You can also find me on Twitter and Facebook.

Gillian May

Former nurse turned writer. Mental health-addictions-trauma-wellness. Book coming soon! Sign up to my newsletter — https://upbeat-trader-4181.ck.page/839d0ab3f9

You may think you’re one of the lucky few who won’t get addicted to a substance, and that you can stop anytime you want. Unfortunately, you might not realize how dependent you’ve become until it’s already causing significant problems. To help you on your journey to becoming and staying sober, here are steps to get started:

Admit you have a problem

It may be difficult to admit that you need to change your relationship with substances that you’ve been dependent on. But if you find that your habits are restricting your activities or affecting your relationships, or you’re feeling some discomfort or guilt, it’s likely that you have an addiction.

You can also pinpoint some common signs of having an addiction. SymptomFind, a site dedicated to helping people reach and maintain wellness, lists some common signs that are associated with alcoholism. These include the inability to resist the mere sight or smell of alcohol and constantly looking for excuses to drink alcohol. Meanwhile, for drugs, signs of addiction are avoiding places where you can’t take drugs and relying on drugs to cope with problems. The first step in any recovery journey? Admitting that you need help, which can help prepare yourself for change.

Seek help

Contrary to popular belief, going cold turkey is not the fastest way to beat addiction. The Gateway Foundation warns that this isn’t safe either. This is because prolonged dependence on alcohol or drugs has rewired the brain to expect these substances. Quitting cold turkey can give rise to dangerous withdrawal symptoms, such as increased heart rate, nausea, and vomiting. As such, to help you recover safely, reach out to an addiction counselor or doctor to help you understand what to expect in your journey to becoming sober.

Learn to cope with withdrawal and relapse symptoms

Dealing with withdrawal and relapse may be the most difficult parts of recovery. Withdrawal is the physical and mental effects you feel once you’ve stopped or reduced your intake of a substance. Physical symptoms such as irritability, restlessness, and tremors can last from a few days to a week. However, the psychological effects like dysphoria can go on for longer. If you experience withdrawal symptoms, consult a doctor to help you. They may also prescribe medication to help you through your withdrawal.

However, NCBI mentions that around half of the people undergoing treatment relapse a few weeks after they’ve finished their treatment program. Relapse symptoms can be emotional, mental, and physical. Emotional and mental symptoms include isolation and bargaining, which, if continued unchecked, will lead to physical relapse. This is when the person resumes use of the substance. Therapy and peer support can help you cope with your symptoms by increasing your motivation and guiding you through your journey.

Avoid replacement behaviors

Even when you’ve successfully managed your addictive behavior, you may end up finding a replacement for it. For instance, you can end up overeating or gambling. You can avoid replacement behaviors by trying to find a balance in your life. The trick to preventing replacement behavior is to find satisfaction in normal life experiences. These let you be more in touch with reality and form authentic relationships again.

Talk to your doctor and counselor about your activities in order to determine if you’re becoming compulsive with any of them. They’ll encourage you to have a structured daily schedule that’s composed of recovery-related activities, such as exercise, eating well, and getting enough sleep. These activities let you focus on something other than what you’re recovering from.

The road to recovery from addiction can be difficult. However, reaching out for help ensures that there are people to guide you to become and stay sober. For more information on recovering from addiction, check our resources here on Sober.

Submitted by: JBurk

Group Therapy Can Focus on Men’s Recovery Issues

A wide range of therapies and treatment methods can be expected during rehab. However, there is no question that group therapy is a critical part of the equation. In a coed rehab environment, however, group therapy can feel limited. In a facility just for men, group therapy can be a more engaging, helpful process.

Group therapy is sometimes just about the opportunity to share and to feel less alone. This is facilitated by encouraging all participants to speak up and express their feelings, detail their history and be vulnerable. Sometimes, men struggle to open up about their past if there are women present. In an environment that’s just for men, it may be easier to be completely open and honest.

Group therapy can also be focused on a specific topic or issue that is relevant to participants. While there are certainly some issues that are important to both men and women, a men-only group therapy session lets participants dive into specific issues that are important to men in particular.

Some men may have questions or concerns about sexual or romantic activity in sobriety. Others are concerned about how their actions might impact their loved ones or their children. They may also express regret about the past, or they might have serious issues concerning financial stability for a family after recovery. Group therapy can be an excellent way to get answers and advice about these issues and more.

Removes Romantic Distractions

Recovering from addiction requires a lot of time and effort. For weeks and even months following your recovery, many addiction experts recommend staying single. In some rehab facilities, however, romantic or sexual relationships can develop. One benefit of a men’s rehab program is that it can eliminate romantic distractions.

During recovery, it is best not to add in new elements that could disrupt stability. Often, intimate relationships do exactly that. It is even possible to replace one substance abuse problem with an obsession. For the sake of stability, patients should get further into the recovery process before adding in new romantic or sexual relationships.

While there might still be women elsewhere in the facility, a men’s rehab program typically provides a space exclusively for men. This could include cafeterias and dining areas, shared common spaces and accommodation. In these areas, men can relax and not feel any judgement. There can be less of an emphasis on looks or style and a greater focus on total recovery.

Facilities Cater to the Needs of Men

For the most part, the rehab facilities for both men and women will be very similar. Men and women both need accommodation, fitness facilities, medical support and healthy meals. However, there are definitely some ways that a facility can cater to the specific needs and preferences of men.

Those preferences might start with the accommodation. If the facility designs rooms with male patients in mind, they might gravitate toward a more neutral or masculine style. These small touches are minor, but they can go a long way in helping male patients feel more comfortable and at home.

Facilities can also offer amenities that men will appreciate. A pool table, television channels playing major sporting events or fitness facilities are all things that male patients may enjoy. Resources can go to those activities, events and amenities that men are more likely to utilize and participate in.

In a men’s rehab program, even the food can be tailored to the culinary preferences of male patients. That might mean bigger portions, a buffet-style serving process or certain meals that men prefer.

Rehab Can be a Safe Space for Both Men and Women

A rehab facility has a number of objectives. Perhaps the most important is to safely facilitate the recovery from addiction. Often, the best way to create a safe space for all patients is to separate men and women.

Some women, especially those recovering from an addiction, feel more secure when they are in a program just for women. To respect this, it makes sense to create a women’s rehab program. The natural response to this is to also create a men’s rehab program.

Men may also appreciate the safe space that a gender-specific program can bring. They can feel secure in their vulnerability, knowing that they are free to be themselves. Both men and women often report higher satisfaction ratings from a gender-specific rehab program.

What to Expect From a Men’s Rehab Program

Clearly, there are a number of benefits of a men’s rehab program. Many prospective male patients, however, may still want to learn more about what this program could entail. For the most part, the process of recovery will be similar whether you’re a man or a women.

Often, the road to recovery begins with a detox. This is a critical part of the recovery process. When patients stop taking drugs or alcohol, it can lead to withdrawal. This withdrawal can often be accompanied by unpleasant symptoms.

During withdrawal, patients can struggle with psychological and physical symptoms. Fortunately, medical professionals can offer support, resources and medication as needed. Nonetheless, this is a time when many men prefer not to have women around. This can be an overwhelming time, and a men’s only environment can result in less pressure.

While in a men’s detox or rehab program, you can expect ongoing medical care. There should also be a variety of therapeutic support options. This could include individual behavioral therapy, group therapy or even family therapy.

A men’s rehab program can offer a number of advantages. If you or a loved one is ready to tackle addiction, make the most of these advantages and find the recovery program that can best meet your needs.

Therapy Addresses the Causes of an Addiction

Addiction doesn’t develop without help from many different angles. It is often a combination of factors and sometimes it is impossible to determine the exact cause. However, addiction therapy can dive deeper into a patient’s past and explore some of the factors that might have led to addiction.

For instance, many individuals are surprised to learn that there is a genetic component to addiction. In therapy, patients might start to see a pattern. It is common for addiction to run in families and many people struggling with addiction have a parent or sibling with similar issues.

Patients might also explore past trauma. It is very common for those struggling with a drug or alcohol addiction to have experienced some form of trauma. Therapy can help identify and recognize some of the causes of addiction. In doing so, patients may feel unburdened, since it becomes clear that addiction is never a choice and always a result of cultural, genetic and societal factors.

Therapy Can Resolve Past Issues

Issues from the past can have a direct impact on a person’s mental health and stability. This, in turn, can make it difficult to recover from an addiction. In addiction therapy, patients and therapists can work to resolve past issues that might otherwise inhibit recovery.

Sometimes, these issues are related to trauma. In other cases, they might stem from neglect in childhood, an eating disorder or low self-esteem. Through extensive talk therapy, patients can start overcoming these issues and creating some form of resolution. This is critical because if the issues reappear it could lead to relapse.

Group Therapy Strengthens Social Ties and Communication Skills

A lot of addiction therapy is one-on-one. However, most patients in any kind of inpatient or outpatient rehab can expect to also participate in group therapy. These group sessions are a wonderful opportunity to learn more about addiction, feel less isolated, and practice communication skills.

Addiction is isolating, and many people struggling with addiction feel like no one understands them. In recovery, it becomes clear that many other people have the same struggles and issues. Group therapy can be an opportunity to share past experiences, offer advice or commiserate with those with whom you have a lot in common.

Group therapy also strengthens peer relationships. Some patients don’t feel comfortable or relaxed when communicating with a therapist but it becomes natural and easy with a peer who is also in therapy. Developing social bonds and communicating with peers is a great way to upgrade life skills and work toward a better reintroduction to society.

Family Therapy Helps Create a Strong Support System

If at all possible, family should be involved in the recovery process. Family therapy is an effective way of building a support system that can last for a lifetime of recovery.

In family therapy, one of the main topics is addiction education. It is beneficial for family members to learn more about what addiction is, what can trigger relapse and why certain people develop addiction while others do not.

Family members can also benefit from learning about relapse prevention. Discussing the difference between helping and enabling is crucial. Perhaps most importantly, family members can learn about how to be involved and support their loved ones. Rebuilding family relationships can go a long way to improving the lives of families that were damaged by addiction.

Addiction Therapy Can be Instrumental in Preventing Relapse

Arguably the biggest threat to a person in addiction recovery is relapsing. One out of every two people that goes through some form of detox or treatment will eventually relapse. Extensive addiction therapy could be the difference between relapse and a lifetime of sobriety.

Addiction therapy is so helpful for relapse prevention because it addresses triggers and identifies custom coping mechanisms. For instance, many relapses happen because patients can’t recognize HALT, an acronym that stands for hungry, angry, tired and lonely. Patients can develop their own coping mechanisms and learn how to stand strong in the face of cravings and temptations, thereby preventing a relapse.

Holistic Therapy Contributes to Better Overall Health and Happiness

Talk therapy is a major part of addiction treatment, but there are also a number of holistic therapies that can be helpful. After all, addiction is not an exclusively physical disease. True recovery involves an increase in overall mental, spiritual and emotional health.

Holistic treatments could include things like aromatherapy or yoga. These therapeutic activities can reduce stress and encourage relaxation. This is critical to those who are in recovery from addiction.

Even something as simple as spending time in nature can play a role in recovery. Vitamin D from the sunshine can boost mood and even light exercise can stimulate the manufacture of endorphins. Health and recovery are about more than just sobriety. It is also about feeling happy and leading a fulfilling, satisfying life.

Behavioral Therapy Can Target Mental Health

There is a strong link between mental illness and addiction. As many as half of those individuals who struggle with addiction also struggle with mental illness. That’s why addiction therapy may include behavioral techniques. Strategies like dialectical behavioral therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy can make a big difference.

Cognitive behavioral therapy can change negative thinking. After all, an all or nothing mentality can rapidly lead to relapse. Dialectical behavioral therapy can build confidence and address mental health issues. Both of these behavioral therapies can give patients the psychological tools they need in recovery.

There is no denying the importance of addiction therapy. Individual therapy, group therapy, family therapy and holistic therapy combine to create a comprehensive and effective strategy for lasting recovery.

Families Can Learn About the Disease Model of Addiction

It is estimated that one in four families deals with addiction in some way. Even if a family member struggles with an addiction, however, many people don’t really understand what addiction is or how it develops. Some family members, even those that mean well, still think of addiction as a decision or a moral flaw. Through family therapy everyone can explore the disease model of addiction.

The disease model of addiction identifies that addiction is an illness. Specifically, it is a combination of a chemical dependence and changes in the brain. Understanding addiction as a disease, much like cancer or diabetes, helps family members see their loved one in a new light.

During family therapy, participants can also learn a little more about why addiction develops. Often, it is a combination of factors such as mental illness, trauma and genetic predisposition. Often, this information is a surprise to family members. Once again, this new information can help family members be more sympathetic and understanding about the process of recovery.

Loved Ones Can Help Resolve Past Conflict

One of the negative effects of addiction is that it can cause all kinds of conflicts in the family. Family members might be upset that a person abusing drugs or alcohol brought turmoil to their lives. Those struggling with addiction might feel like their family members were to blame in the first place. While it is normal to experience conflict as a result of addiction, it is unhealthy to let it linger.

A big part of recovery is being able to let go of past conflict and move forward. This is true for the person struggling with addiction and the family members who were involved. In family therapy, a third party can help facilitate conversation and resolution. Through therapy and treatment, families will begin to heal from the wounds that addiction can bring.

Family Members Will be Able to Learn Common Relapse Triggers

There are hundreds and even thousands of triggers that can spark a relapse. These are often very personal. One person might be very tempted to use drugs when they see a bar, while others might be tempted when they are on their own and bored. During family therapy, everyone can learn about the patient’s triggers and how best to avoid them.

Ultimately, it is the responsibility of the patient to learn to resist triggers and develop coping mechanisms. However, family members can still be an important line of defense. The actions of a family member could be the difference between continued recovery and the risk of relapse.

Some patients might be triggered because of overwhelming stress, financial worries or pressure from family members. Others might be triggered by certain locations or by too much alone time. Knowing the specifics can go a long way in helping patients stay on track with their sobriety.

Children, Parents and Spouses Can Discuss Recovery With a Trained Professional

It’s important for close family members to understand what recovery looks like. Family therapy is a great opportunity for a patient’s children, parents or spouse to meet with a trained professional and learn more about the process of true recovery.

To start, family members can get a rough timeline of withdrawal, rehab and aftercare. Recovery isn’t an overnight process, and it may takes weeks or months of ongoing treatment before independent living is possible.

Family members can also learn about the lifelong reality of recovery. Once someone has struggled with addiction, there is no such thing as moderate use. An alcoholic can’t go through recovery and then start drinking socially again. Family members have to know and believe this, because they can be instrumental in stopping loved ones from making a mistake and relapsing.

The Whole Family Can Create a Plan for Lasting Recovery

Addiction can feel very isolating, and so can recovery. Often, patients aren’t actually alone, they just feel that way. Recruiting the whole family can show patients that they have plenty of support, love and care. Family therapy is also a great chance to work out a recovery plan that involves everyone.

Patients will likely rely on their family members substantially in the weeks and months following rehab. Family members, for the most part, are usually eager to help. Both parties will feel better about the arrangement, however, if they know what to expect.

Family therapy is the opportunity to plan for the future. While no one knows exactly what the future holds, having a plan in place can be critical to recovery. Some patients and their family members can collectively decide that advanced education and living at home is the best route for the next year. Making these decisions with the help of a trained counselor can ensure a positive resolution for everyone involved.

Enabling Can be Identified and Avoided

Without family therapy, enabling might be an ongoing problem for patients in recovery. Enabling is defined as ignoring or encouraging negative behavior in any way. Unfortunately, many family members want to show love and end up enabling instead.

In the context of recovery and life after rehab, enabling might include fear of speaking out, unlimited financial support or prioritizing someone else’s needs above your own. For example, helping to pay for detox and rehab is helping. Offering unlimited cash to a person with a history of addiction is almost certainly enabling. In therapy, family members will learn which of their actions are helping and which are ultimately harming their loved one’s recovery.

The recovery process involves the entire family. That’s why family therapy can be such a valuable tool for those in recovery as well as their loved ones.

Defining Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Cognitive behavioral therapy is a combination of psychotherapy and behavioral therapy. All CBT sessions are held in a private, one-on-one environment between patient and therapist.

Typically, cognitive behavioral therapy is conducted just one time a week. Sessions are often just under an hour long. This might seem short, but it is intensive.

CBT is also unique because it is not designed to be ongoing. Patients typically don’t participate in cognitive behavioral therapy for a lifetime. On average, cognitive behavioral therapy lasts for six to eight months. At that point, any progress that can be made has likely already been made.

In the 1960s, cognitive behavioral therapy was developed by a psychiatrist named Aaron Beck. He was the first to notice that during therapy, many patients were having an internal dialogue. Most of this internal dialogue was kept private by patients.

One way to look at cognitive behavioral therapy is a technique that directly addresses that internal dialogue. If the inner voice in a patient is expressing negative thoughts that could impact addiction recovery, then it has to be modified. Cognitive behavioral therapy seeks to change negative thoughts into positive ones. This can help with addiction as well as other conditions such as depression, paranoia, and anxiety.

CBT and Dysfunctional Assumption

One of the focuses of cognitive behavioral therapy is dysfunctional assumption. This is a pattern of thinking that can be harmless but often becomes a problem for those with addiction.

Dysfunctional assumption is a foregone conclusion without any evidence. For example, a person in rehab might think, “I’m an addict. I can never succeed in life.” This is absolutely incorrect, and it can hold people back from accomplishing their goals.

If a person believes something, even if it is wrong, then it will be hard to overcome. Many patients who are in addiction treatment don’t say these dysfunctional assumptions out loud, which makes it even harder to address.

In cognitive behavioral therapy, therapists use techniques to encourage patients to reveal their dysfunctional assumptions. Then, they can be systematically debunked. This can help patients challenge their incorrect and harmful patterns of thinking. In the example above, the patient can start to consider a successful life, working harder to accomplish great things in the future.

Addressing Automatic Thoughts

Cognitive behavioral therapy will also focus on automatic thoughts. Once again, these thoughts are part of a dysfunctional thought pattern. Often, these patterns develop in childhood, and addiction reinforces them. During recovery, however, CBT can reveal that automatic thoughts are often false.

An automatic thought might be, “No one wants to help me because I’m an addict.” Or, it could be, “I’m a failure, and nothing can change that.” These thoughts can be repeated so often that patients genuinely believe they are true.

During cognitive behavioral therapy, therapists will work hard with patients to dismantle automatic thoughts. They might mention family members as proof of support and love. They can highlight the value of a patient, hammering in facts that deny the automatic thoughts. This can be tough for patient and therapist, but it is incredibly beneficial to be freed from the shackles of negative, automatic thoughts.

Developing Coping Skills in Rehab and Beyond

Arguably the biggest threat to a patient’s sobriety is relapsing. More than half of all individuals who receive some form of addiction treatment will eventually relapse and fall back into addictive patterns. Many things can lead to relapse, including negative thought patterns and stress. Cognitive behavioral therapy may be able to prevent relapse by helping patients develop coping skills.

Coping skills are unique to each individual patient. What works for one person may not necessarily work for another. That’s why individual therapy is so critical.

During CBT, a therapist or psychiatrist can bring up examples of stressful situations that could spark a relapse. Patients will need to imagine themselves in these difficult situations. Examples might include being embarrassed in a social setting, being turned down for a job opening or going through a romantic breakup.

Then, patients can verbally discuss how to respond in a healthy way. Coming up with alternatives to relapse means that if these stressful situations really happen, there will be a plan in place. Instead of drinking, patients can call their addiction sponsor. Instead of using drugs, they can hit the gym to relieve stress in a much healthier way.

Eliminating Black and White Thinking

One of the hallmarks of addiction is black and white thinking. This is an all-or-nothing mentality, and it can be a major obstacle on the road to recovery. No patient should be expected to be perfect at all times, and there is plenty of middle ground between perfection and failure. Cognitive behavioral therapy can address this dangerous way of thinking.

The biggest problem with black and white thinking is that it can cause a relapse. Just because you make a small mistake, it doesn’t mean you should throw all your progress away. CBT can teach patients how to recognize a mistake, move on, and continue toward recovery.

What to Expect From a CBT Session

Patients should expect their first cognitive behavioral session to take around 60 minutes. It will be one-on-one, and it will start with a brief evaluation. Patients will be asked what they want to accomplish, and any mental health issues can be identified.

You should expect to confront serious issues during cognitive behavioral therapy. However, keep in mind that the end goal is always happiness, confidence, and strength.

Cognitive behavioral therapy is a popular and effective means of addiction treatment. When combined with other treatment methods, it can pave the way for a lifetime of sobriety and health.

Prioritizing Safety and Security

Above all, an addiction treatment program should make patients feel secure. While a closed rehabilitation campus helps keep unwanted visitors and substances away, sometimes men and women feel insecure around the opposite sex. Gender-specific treatment addresses this by separating men and women into own their respective, specialized programs.

While recovering, many women don’t want to be in a coed environment. Some female patients may be victims of physical or sexual assault which has led to their addiction. Unfortunately, discussing individual history in a coed group can be unsettling for them.

Similarly, some men don’t feel safe when sharing space with the opposite sex. Rather than forcing patients to confront these feelings, it’s much better to allow them to integrate on their own time. Keeping treatment programs divided allows everyone to recover at their own pace.

Patients Can Recover Without Distraction

Not all patients are sexually attracted to the opposite sex, but many are. However, during recovery patients should avoid new sexual or romantic relationships. The easiest way to stay away from these distractions is by opting for gender-specific treatment programs.

While maintaining healthy relationships is everyone’s goal, this doesn’t happen until you’re emotionally stable. In the first few weeks of sobriety, stability is difficult to maintain. Starting an intimate relationship when sobriety is so new can jeopardize recovery. The excitement of a new crush, the physical intimacy of a relationship, or the letdown of unrequited love could spark a relapse.

If things like treatment sessions, group therapy, meals, social activities, and accommodation are separate, it’s easier to avoid the opposite sex. This is crucial when working toward recovery. Once you’re stable, you’re better prepared to start new romantic relationships.

Gender-Specific Programs Facilitate Deeper Peer Bonds

When beginning recovery, romantic relationships aren’t recommended. However, new friendships can be wonderful. It’s normal for individuals in addiction treatment to withdraw and seek alone time. However, a gender-specific environment makes it easier to socialize and develop new peer connections.

Your peers in treatment are people who understand your addiction best. It’s comforting to know they’re going through the exact same thing you are. You might have different backgrounds and histories, but you can relate to one another in a meaningful way.

In gender-specific treatment programs, patients find it easier to socialize. Without romantic risks or unwanted flirting, patients are more outgoing. Socializing is key to speeding up recovery during addiction treatment.

Facilities Cater to Gender-Specific Needs

Both men and women benefit from addiction treatment centers that offer diverse facilities and amenities. For the most part, the needs of both genders overlap. However, gender-specific treatment programs may do a better job adhering to men and women’s specialized needs.

For example, this is a common issue when it comes to meals. Men and women prefer different dining experiences. One gender may appreciate small, more intimate meals, while the other may gravitate toward open food access like buffet-style serving space.

Gender-specific facilities also differ in decor. The colors, textiles, and layout of the room are tailored to gendered needs. While these seem like small details, they play a role in helping patients stay calm, relaxed, and focused. Gender-specific treatment programs also offer fitness facilities geared toward individual health.

Group Therapy Topics Can Focus on What Matters Most to Participants

A key element to addiction treatment is group therapy. If a treatment program accommodates one gender, it’s easier to focus on relevant topics while keeping all participants engaged.

For example, women who struggle with addiction likely struggle with eating disorders, or lack of self-esteem. These are worthy topics that deserve group attention. By keeping the genders separate, groups are able to focus on relevant subjects.

Men and Women May Open Up in Separate Groups

Addiction is an isolating disease. Before, during and after treatment, patients feel like no one understands them. However, by opening up patients realize how much they have in common with their peers. The benefit of a gender-specific treatment program is encouraging openness through shared experiences.

Sharing your story is a helps. You’ll feel relieved, and your peers will be able to relate to you. For this to happen, you may feel vulnerable.

When men and women are together, it may be harder to share your history. Allowing men and women to share stories separately helps them express themselves without censorship.

Gender-specific paths to treatment help both men and women recover. While there are many ways to embrace sobriety, this approach emphasizes safety, healing, and friendship.