September 22, 2022 6:54 AM EDT
I am an addict and alcoholic. As a little kid I was bullied because I had cancer. After I was cured I wasn’t the same happy little child. I was uncomfortable so I started being reclusive very young. By the time I got to high school. I was escaping reality with pills and alcohol. I dropped out at 16. My use escalated by 19 to cocaine and whiskey. By 21 I was full blown meth and heroin. My addiction caused failed relationships. At 23 I quit the drugs but was drinking heavily. I was a wreck. 28 I relapsed back to hard drugs. I did unspeakable things to people to get what I wanted. I had no feelings for anyone. There was no light in my eyes. I welcomed death. By the time I was 38 I had cheated death numerous times and was angry that I hadn’t died. I overdosed three times. I fell fifteen feet head first into concrete. I fell off a car doing fifty. I jumped of an 80 fort bridge into 20 feet of water twice. How insane is that. I wanted to die. I hated who I was. My prayers were answered In a unexpected way. I was busted for two counts possession under one gram. I was facing five years straight day for day prison. Feb. 17, 21019 I signed for the sentence. After I signed I was told to be back in court next month to serve my time. So I went on an all out binge taking anything I could get my hands on. Mar. 11, 2019 is the day god showed grace. The judge I previously had was not in court and I was seeing a different judge. When I walked up to the podium he asked me "what are we going to do with you josh." I didn’t even look up. "You have been in and out of jail more than 30 times in the past ten years. What happened to you?" All I could say was "drugs" and started crying. "Do you want a chance at a better life?" Right then the DA said "he already signed he deserves his sentence. He won’t ever change." I looked at her and said. "You send me to prison I won’t ever change. I will come out worse than I was going in." The judge looked at me and said. "That’s why your not going there. I think you have a chance and are worth it. I am sending you to a rehabilitation center instead." at that moment I felt a weight being lifted off my shoulders. Thanks to a kind judge who saw something in me I couldn’t see I am grateful to be clean and sober a little over three years now. I am now a certified solar technician. Certified generator technician. Licensed electrician. I continue to grow every day. There are ups and downs for sure. I choose recovery over pain. I’ll take a bad day clean and sober over any good day using. If you are struggling please reach out for help. I am here for you al. YOU ARE WORTH IT
#recoveroutloudforthosewhosufferinsilence
#recoverywarrior
