March 15, 2022 10:50 PM EDT
Let's talk relationships in this part of my story
Lately I have been reminded of what it was like for me when I first got clean. So many Newcomers believing that they can get clean and their partners will too.
I can only share my own experience with this.
I was married to my "soulmate". We were friends first and it became more later.
He showed me a world I had only skirted around. I was not that interested in the type of drinking and drugging that everyone was doing around me. It didn't work for me and I just liked being around the people who did.
So my 26th birthday came and He introduced me to a new way to enjoy such an experience. I had at age 6, watch my mom's roommate use this way. I had always been intrigued yet fearful.
This person I knew and trusted completely promised me I would be safe and enjoy it like nothing I ever experienced before.
It was our 3 days off from work, my kids were away and I wanted to "celebrate " right!
I have to admit I throughly enjoyed it. We planned such events often and my life, thinking, beliefs, priorities had all fallen to this almighty way of using.
I had developed a relationship with this existence in a way that nearly took everything I held dear.
Sure I could stop using. Go to work, and be a parent; I Couldn't Stop thinking about the next 3 day weekend and that fix and how pleasurable it all was.
I stopped when I would be pregnant, because I wanted a healthy baby, a pleasant pregnancy. I would get so angry and resentful watching my now husband continuing with this lifestyle.
So after our second child was born, (my 5th) I had been abstinent for a while and was going to AlAnon meetings because I wanted to live a clean life for our children.
So my husband went to treatment (again #9).
I continued to go to meetings. He went to NA and we went to Open Meetings together. Both of us in Recovery!!
To be continued....
