Written by: Dwane Myers
Life was a mess during active drinking. The pain and suffering wasn’t going any where even while I was using. I hear a lot of people saying the drink or drug freed them from pain but for me the pain was there just allowed me to do lots of negative things. I never wanted to get sober, it was a painful and fun time while active. There wasn’t anything good happening in life everything was just going down hill. When facing life on life’s terms during my active using I would go and drink until I blackout and get real violent. I didn’t know how to handle life or even myself. Once I became honest and accepted the fact I really had a problem that nobody could help me stay sober the door started opening a little. Being patient was a hard one for me I was that angry little boy running and running my whole life and couldn’t stay still. They say if you willing to go to go to any length to stay sober and once I agreed on that I started having hope. Having someone that believed in me when I didn’t even believe in myself open my eyes. The darkness was still there but the digging stopped. I had to change everything. I had to ask for help listen to others that been sober for a few 24 hours and start actually living in the day. Gain some courage to do uncomfortable things to get comfortable in my own skin. The guidance of a sponsor through some work of 12 steps and prayers to a higher power helped me take life serious. I am so Grateful that today one day at a time, prayers, reaching out to people asking for help and staying spiritually fit in my program I have a chance today to stay sober. Being in recovery is something new to me but also is a big part of my life today. I have had a few real tough times in my recovery with deaths in my family. Thankful I have tools today that allow me to do something different instead of picking up that drink or drug. When I lost my step dad it put me in a bad place and all I did was cry and cry. I am so glad I have grew up and learned that I am going to have bad days and good days but I as long as I pray to my higher power and talk to someone in recovery that has been there I can survive the day. That is all I have is 24 hours to stay sober. I have hope today faith and love and as long as I keep it in the day and stay humble I have another chance for the next day. So if you are new to the recovery life prayers meditation asking for help going to meetings and doing some action you have another chance to stay sober. If nobody has told you I believe in you. If I can do it you can do it also. Thank You for allowing me to be apart of recovery and service to you.